Special guest joins St Christopher’s patients to paint Together Pebbles

There are many aspects to the holistic impact of a hospice’s garden, but one of the most significant is that they are places for remembrance: of loved ones, or special memories.

So that's why, at the RHS Chelsea Flower Show this year, the Hospice UK Garden of Compassion will include a very special feature: it will become a home to many ‘Together Pebbles’, for people to remember and make dedications to people who are important to them.

The Together Pebbles feature is based on an initiative started during Covid-19 whereby hospice patients would receive a hand-decorated pebble: one side featuring an artwork, and the other with a personalised message from a friend or family member.

They’re symbolic of the many acts of remembrance taking place in hospices around the UK, who offer ways for families to make dedications - and find comfort - through their in-memory gardens, tree dedications or books or remembrance.
These pebbles were a way for people to stay connected, despite not being able to see each other in person because of the lockdown.

At the Hospice UK Garden of Compassion, Together Pebbles created by hospice patients, staff and guests will be placed into beautiful artisanal crafted bowls, specially made for the garden by artist Thea Thompson.

To help Hospice UK prepare their Together Pebbles, a few weeks before the show, patients at St Christopher’s Hospice took part in a ‘Create and Chat’ art therapy workshop to paint theirs – and share what it’s meant to them to dedicate a pebble.

They were joined by comedian and St Christopher’s ambassador, Tom Allen, who has experienced a family member being cared for by the hospice. He painted his own Together Pebble, which he’ll be placing onto the Hospice UK Garden of Compassion on Monday 19 May.

Allen describes his design inspiration – and what he took away from the Create and Chat session: 

“My pebble is based on a trip I recently made to Australia, where I spent time with my family on the beach. It was a very special memory and I thought it would be perfect for the pebble…but when I came to make it, it looks a bit rubbish, so I thought I’d place it underneath, ‘down under’ if you will. It was very soothing to do that…on the other side I put a selection of colours I like – it’s a bit like a sunburst or a lovely parasol!”

“My favourite bit about today was painting the pebble, but as ever it was talking to the people around the table and having a chance to discuss…everything, actually. We talked about gardening, about life, about making things – and we started to broach the subject of talking about end of life. It turns out that that’s something that we all need to get better at doing. And actually, there’s lots of hope and positivity in just being open and discussing things with people around a table.”

Beatriz Monteiro, a patient at St Christopher’s, was one of the participants in the workshop. She described why she’d painted her pebble: 

“I drew a colourful heart because I feel that my heart is colourful again after a long period of illness, and I wrote how I feel about this place – St Christopher’s. The first thing I heard here was that ‘you are under our wings’. That felt really reassuring, because coming here was like a death sentence for me, but that’s changed my mind, because I found so many other feelings and emotions and things. So for me it is a garden of peace, love, understanding, faith, healing, compassion, and hope as well. I’m in a better place.”

Emma Pancha comes to Create and Chat at St Christopher’s most weeks, when she can:

“I wasn’t very planned with my pebble, but I did a ladybird because that was the last thing I was talking about with my daughter this morning, and probably my daughter is the most important thing to me. I just felt like rainbows and ladybugs are what we were talking about this morning, and I wanted to put that together as my thing for Amber – a ladybird with rainbow spots. I hope she approves! 

“Everything I do really is about doing things for Amber and what’s important for her, and wanting her to remember some things – Create and Chat really helps me with that. To really think about doing things with her other than daily life, because it just takes over. If you stop and do these little things, they become more important, even if it’s just half an hour, because it can be so difficult on top of everything else. I find it a big help coming in and talking – the relief to be able to talk without a shadow over you.”

“It's like a different way of talking about things when you’re at a hospice, you don’t have to pretend. It’s ok – you can just talk about, or not talk about it – it works both ways. It feels more comfortable, more relaxed than when you’re outside in the everyday busy-ness of everything. That works for me and it’s a great outlet once a week.”

Asked what he was looking forward to about the Hospice UK Garden of Compassion, Allen added: 

“Gardens, and often gardens in hospices occupy a special place because they’re where everyone can come together, be grounded in nature, take time away from indoors, and can just be with one another. Can talk, see how they feel, sit in silence, and just be allowed to enjoy the wonder of nature. And that, if anything, is what compassion is all about – just taking time for yourself. I think there’s a lot of magic in a garden.”

The pebbles created by all the Create and Chat participants will be placed into the Garden of Compassion at the RHS Chelsea Flower Show – but for those not attending, there is a way to make a dedication to a loved one, by placing a pebble on a special virtual Garden of Compassion.

Special thanks to St Christopher's Hospice for facilitating the Together Pebbles workshop.