What happens when someone dies

“Typically, the funeral is organised very quickly, we’re talking 2-3 days tops. Family and friends would come together to mourn, pay respects to the family of a loved one and honour the person while sharing memories. 

“Most of all you pray, a lot! Funerals are held in a church, followed by a burial in a cemetery. 

“The community plays a big role, typically, the funeral of the person is well attended, not just by family and friends but neighbours, people the person may cross paths with before. 

“After the funeral, it's very common to visit the grave regularly. When my friend died, I was visiting her on a weekly basis.”
 

“When someone in the family or community dies, the undertaker plays a central role, guiding the family through the process. Traditionally - and practically, everything happens quickly, with burials typically taking place within a couple of days. While cremation is now an option, burial remains the norm in many communities. 

“One deeply rooted practice is arranging for a Mass to be said for the deceased, sometimes repeatedly over time, as an expression of respect, remembrance and faith.

“Another strong tradition is the wake, which often takes place in the family home. The presence of the body in the home allows for storytelling, music, and shared memories, creating a space for both grief and comfort. 

“I remember when my father died, our home was filled with people, and a massive kettle appeared — likely borrowed from the local community centre, where it would normally be used for large sports gatherings. Endless cups of tea were poured as people sat together, reminiscing, sharing tears and laughter, and offering comfort.”
 

“After a Muslim’s death, a washing of body, shrouding, a funeral prayer and burial takes place as soon as practical. In Shia Muslims, recitations are made at graveside, continuing after burial for an hour or so. Extended families and friends make themselves available to pray and pay charity for deceased for many days. There are gatherings to recall dead one, prophet’s family and find consolation in that. These gatherings go on for forty days and then some people still hold these annually.”

“Speaking from recent personal experience, my family lost our most patriarchal figure. Though we as a large widespread family were aware of the process and lead up to my uncle’s transition, the loss was seismic. 

“And for our family, it meant that we all had to face the mortality that life changes and passes and the importance, community and strength may have been embodied by one person, but the characteristics and energy they poured out and example with which they lead live on.” 
 

“The relevant people will be informed of the death and then we come together. And if a person's made a will you have specific roles to play. If they haven't made a will it can be quite traumatic. 

Responsibilities around the death fall mostly to the elders. It then goes down in age to deal with certain things – mostly siblings first and then you go down to everybody else.”
 

“In Pakistani culture, when someone dies, the event is met with deep sorrow and is followed by a series of Islamic and cultural rituals. 

“Immediately after death, the body is bathed, shrouded in a white cloth (kafan), and prepared for burial as soon as possible, typically within 24 hours, following Islamic customs. The funeral prayer (Salat al-Janazah) is performed, and the body is buried in a local graveyard, with men usually attending the burial.

“Family, friends, and neighbours gather to offer condolences and support to the grieving family. It is common for people to bring food to the mourning family, as they are not expected to cook during this time. A period of mourning follows, often lasting three days, during which the Quran is recited, and prayers are offered for the deceased. Some families may hold a Khatam on the third day, where guests gather for prayers and remembrance. In some regions and families, additional commemorative gatherings may be held on the 10th, 40th, and even the first anniversary of the death. The mourning period reflects deep respect for the deceased and solidarity within the community.”
 

“As an academic researcher I have been considering the value and significance of faith and  spiritually in palliative care and end of life care and through to bereavement. For me personally when my granddad died suddenly of heart failure in hospital in 2020, although none of the  family were able to be present due to COVID-19 visiting restrictions, it gave us great comfort and solace that his strong faith as a Muslim had been considered. The care provided by health and social care professionals can make a huge difference to patients and also in the way death is processed by those that are left behind.”

“There's a strong sense of commemoration when someone has died. So you know, photographs, stuff from the past, people standing up with memories, remembering recalling various phases of the life, recalling various things that may have happened. It's people who are articulate and are happy to stand up and speak. I think that’s typical of the kind of funeral I go to.”

“Practically I think there are steps to be taken, like washing the dead. Visiting the graveyard and praying for the person and letting all the family members and community gather together in a mosque and. Having the prayer for that person and bringing that person to the grave. 

“And then there are lots of prayers, in seven days, and in 40 days. But internally I think it doesn't work this way – externally it’s structured, but most of the time internally it goes up and down in waves. So there are two different timelines for the community, and for each individual.”